Premature ejaculation (PE) affects many men, often due to a mix of physical tension, mental stress, poor habits, and overstimulation. Retired adult film actor and current sex coach Stirling Cooper shares straightforward, actionable strategies in his videos to help men last longer and regain confidence in bed. Here are the core tips distilled from his content:
### 1. Reduce General Anxiety and Performance Pressure
A big driver of PE is anxiety—worrying about finishing too quickly creates a self-fulfilling prophecy.
- **Fix**: Shift your mindset from "I have to perform perfectly" to focusing on connection and enjoyment.
- Stop treating sex like a race. Slow down, breathe deeply, and remind yourself that your partner wants shared pleasure, not a timed event.
- Cooper emphasizes that mental calm is foundational—rushing mentally often leads to rushing physically.
### 2. Relax Your Pelvic Floor Muscles
Chronic tension in the pelvic floor (the muscles that control urination and ejaculation) can trigger quick finishes. Many men unknowingly clench these muscles due to stress or poor posture.
- **Fix**: Practice conscious relaxation of the pelvic area.
- Try reverse Kegels (gently pushing out as if starting urination) to release tension instead of squeezing.
- Combine this with deep diaphragmatic breathing during foreplay or sex to keep the whole lower body loose.
### 3. Avoid Overstimulation and Build Control Gradually
Habitual fast, high-stimulation masturbation trains your body for rapid ejaculation. Porn and death-grip techniques make real partnered sex feel overwhelming.
- **Fix**: Retrain through "edging"—bring yourself close to climax during solo play, then stop or slow down completely.
- Repeat several times per session to teach your nervous system patience.
- During sex, use slower thrusts, change positions often, or pause when you feel the point of no return approaching.
### 4. Manage Lifestyle Factors That Fuel PE
Everyday habits play a bigger role than most realize:
- **Diet and overeating**: Heavy meals (especially carb-loaded ones like pizza) divert blood flow and increase lethargy or sensitivity. Eat lighter before intimacy.
- **Stress and fatigue**: High cortisol from work/life tension short-circuits control. Prioritize sleep, exercise, and stress reduction.
- **Medications**: Some SSRIs can delay ejaculation (a known side effect), but Cooper notes this isn't ideal long-term—use only under medical guidance if needed.
### 5. Stay Present and Use Breathing Techniques
An overactive mind races ahead and spikes arousal too fast.
- **Fix**: Practice meditation or mindfulness daily to train focus.
- During sex, use slow, controlled belly breathing (inhale 4 seconds, hold 4, exhale 6–8) to stay grounded.
- When you feel close, pause, breathe, and reset—many men find this buys 5–10+ minutes once habitual.
**Bonus Advice from Cooper**
- Don't rely on numbing creams, extra-thick condoms, or "tricks" like tying something around the base—these often reduce pleasure for both partners without fixing the root issue.
- Consistency beats intensity: Short daily practices (breathing, edging, relaxation) yield better results than occasional intense efforts.
- If PE persists despite these changes, consider pelvic floor physiotherapy or talking to a sex-positive therapist.
These tips come from Cooper's experience coaching men and his own background. Results vary, but many report noticeable improvements within weeks of consistent application. If you're dealing with this, start with just one or two changes (like breathing + pelvic relaxation) and build from there.
